Choice of Sexual Partner

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"An ounce of prevention is better than two pounds of cure." - our Grandmothers

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We live in a culture that confuses love with lust and replaces the word "sex" with "love" as if they are the same thing. "Love whoever you want" translates, "have sex with whoever you want". Worse still, school children as young as preschool are being exposed in Colorado public schools to porn, sexual grooming, and sexual abuse.

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It is estimated that one in four Americans has a sexual addiction. To them, suggesting that they not have sex seems like an unrealistic expectation. To further the addiction, businesses that profit from terminating pregnancies are invited into schools to encourage sexual experimentation and contraceptives that give a false sense of invisibility while exposing youth to potentially devastating sexually transmitted infections, unhealthy relationships, and the possibility of pregnancy. Based on the failure rates of condoms and other forms of birth control, for every one hundred students encouraged to engage in sexual activity, a minimum of four to eight of those students using contraception will become pregnant within the year. 

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To combat this epidemic, we must return common sense to the classroom and to the home. While “abstinence” has been outlawed to be taught in Colorado public schools as the only or best means of preventing pregnancy, abstaining from activities that can naturally lead to pregnancy is in fact, the best and only way to prevent pregnancy. Every “contraceptive” has a failure rate, along with severe consequences to consider. The “pill” prescribed for everything from acne to a contraception is itself a potential abortifacient as it does not always prevent ovulation but does prevent implantation of a newly developing son or daughter. Like "the pill", patches and injections altar a woman's natural biology with artificial hormones that fool the woman's body that she is already pregnant. Research has not been published on the link between long term use of synthetic hormones and infertility. The IUD is dangerous on multiple levels, and when a pregnancy does occur, to remove the IUD also removes the child. Most life-affirming OB/Gyns no longer insert IUDs. IUD’s and synthetic hormones make the womb inhospitable for carrying life.

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Reserving sexuality for marriage keeps sexually transmitted infections out of the relationship. It also provides the committed and consistent environment needed by children. A two-parent family also prevents poverty. Young adults who finish school, get a full-time job, and wait to be sexually active in marriage have the best prescription for staying out of poverty. Reserving sexuality for marriage also helps to prevent partner violence and child abuse. Couples who get pregnant may find the timing inconvenient, but most women who feel like pregnancy is a crisis are pregnant mothers without a supportive man in their lives. If a pregnant mother has one man in her life who supports her and the pregnancy, she is most likely to carry. When a husband is committed to his wife, the couple are better able to handle pregnancy financially, physically, and emotionally. The primary solution to abortion is a choice of the will for women and men to wait to be sexually active until they are in a committed monogamous relationship – the word for that in English is marriage.

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Within marriage, there are scientific ways a husband and wife can understand her body to be able to encourage or discourage pregnancy that is equally effective to artificial hormones. Working with a woman's body in a natural way, rather than against the health of her body, also provides closeness between husband and wife, so that when a woman does become pregnant, it is a shared experience between both parents, not the perceived responsibility of only the woman or the man.

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If you give children a buffet of dessert, they will make themselves sick. As adults, we guide them to eat their vegetables, first. When school children are shown all the many ways of having sex without the context of family, relationship, or love, it will make them sick. As adults, we need to introduce them to the foundations of healthy relationships that is the cake beneath the frosting of sex. 

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Fire in a fireplace is warm and cozy. Fire in the living room creates a crisis. Sex beneath the heart of marriage is safe and warm. Sex outside that hearth is a threat to all engulfed by its flames.

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Family​

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Within the loving relationships of family, children are able to learn at their own pace, as they are emotionally and cognitively and physically ready, to understand sexuality within the context of love and relationship. Who better to teach their children about the sacredness of marriage and sexuality than the parents who experienced that relationship in conceiving them. In the owners manual God provided us called the Bible, God tells us his design for sexuality and creating children. God designed children to be conceived in love, carried in love, raised in love, and launched in love. Because we live in a fallen world of sinful people, even with the best intentions, that progression can fall short anywhere along the way. When it does, family is the safety net for children - and adults. It is the commitment and compassion of family - or members of one's family - that can prevent a lot of poor choices and help pick up the pieces afterward. Even where marriage is not the context for the creation of the child, they next layer of protection God has put in place is the family. God put in place multiple layers to protect a child - mothers, fathers, men, the church, communities, and the law. The enemy of the lives God is creating had to get through all those layers to prey upon the most vulnerable among us. When we put back into place the missing layers of a mother's love, a father's protection, a church's instruction, a community's support, and the law, these children have a wall of protection around them so thick that no one can violate that sanctuary.

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Pregnancy Care Centers

 

For pregnant mothers struggling with overwhelming challenges while pregnant, Pregnancy Care Centers offer no-cost resources for her. Most pregnancy centers offer diapers, clothes, baby items, and parenting classes. Most importantly, pregnancy care centers provide one-on-one emotional support and someone to walk alongside a pregnant mother as long as needed so she doesn’t feel alone.

 

Pregnancy centers offer honest information about the development of her baby and the various parenting options available to her including single parenting, co-parenting, marriage and parenting, parenting with help, and the loving option of choosing parents and placing her baby in a loving home through modern adoption. 

 

If a mother is considering terminating her pregnancy, a caring and trained life professional will ask permission to share with her the risks and procedures of aborting her child, information abortion clinics will not tell her.

 

Under the license of a medical doctor, many pregnancy centers offer free ultrasound, confirmation of pregnancy, and prenatal vitamins. Some pregnancy centers offer STI testing and treatment.

 

Most pregnancy centers offer mentorship opportunities and classes for both father and mother.

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Unlike abortion clinics, pregnancy care centers do not make money off whatever the woman chooses. In fact, it costs pregnancy centers when mothers need help to continue their pregnancies. Through private donations and grants, many people make sacrifices to help those mothers.

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Many pregnancy centers also offer pregnancy loss support groups for those grieving the loss of a child through the choice to abort.

 

Pregnancy centers help pregnant mothers get back on their feet financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Pregnancy centers make referrals to other community resources based on the woman’s individual needs such as help with budgeting, work readiness, school scholarships, housing, transportation, and even a local church community that may offer her a baby shower and continued support for her and her children.

 

A pregnancy center provides a confidential environment where a pregnant mother can talk through her fears and anxieties about being a mother and work through a plan for achieving her goals. A pregnancy center staff member or volunteer is trained to help a woman out of crisis and think through her options even before taking a pregnancy test so that she can make a well-informed decision out of vision for her future and love for her baby.

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Modern Adoption

 

Through Modern Adoption, the infant can go directly from a biological mother into an adoptive family of the mother's choice without affecting the foster care system at no cost to the pregnant mother.

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A mother who is unable or unwilling to care for her child may choose loving parents for her child, choose how involved she'd like to be in her child's life, what she'd like her birthing experience to be like, and if she'd like to dedicate or baptize her child and have an adoption ceremony.

 

Through Modern Adoption agencies, the biological mother may choose if she would like open, closed, or partially open adoption. She can interview perspective parents and choose which parents she would like to raise her baby. She can choose how involved she'd like to be - if she'd like to be at every birthday party or receive a picture every year.

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Adoption is free for bio mom, and agencies can help with any expenses related to her pregnancy including rent, clothing, and utilities. Many adoption agencies also offer her professional counseling at no-charge and provide a case worker to provide emotional support throughout pregnancy.

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The child goes directly from the arms of their biological mother into the arms of adoptive parents who have been heavily screened and who are paying tens of thousands of dollars to be able to adopt. Many adoptive families become an extended family for the mother.

 

The mother may also choose to place her child directly with a family member or other family of her choice without going through an adoption agency. She may try to parent and if she's struggling, as long as social services does not become involved, she may choose adoption for her child at any time.

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There are currently 36 couples wanting to adopt a baby for every baby available to adopt in the U.S. We have a shortage of babies. There have been approximately the same number of couples wanting to adopt every year as there have been abortions performed.

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Approximately two million couples are currently waiting to adopt a baby. This number does not include the families where the cost is prohibitive for them. Many of these families would like to adopt more than one child, if they could.

 

Modern adoption solves both the abortion issue and the epidemic of infertility caused by abortion, abortifacients, and hormones in our environment without the immoral and inhumane practices of destroying children through IVF.

 

Churches

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Adults are most open to the gospel when in crisis. Becoming pregnant outside marriage, at an inopportune time, or when other crises are happening simultaneously is a perfect opportunity for someone who doesn’t know Christ - or haven't had a serious walk with Him - to cry out to Him for help. It is in those moments that many women (and men) find a relationship with Christ that will carry them through not only a nine-month pregnancy but a lifetime of love and relationships.

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Pregnant mothers who have a church that rallies around them do much better spiritually, emotionally, and financially than women trying to make it without a loving church family.

 

Many of us have been exposed to "The Scarlet Letter" mentality imposed by those outside the church and associate that with church, preventing even the thought of church as a safe haven and place of help.

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Taught that to disagree with their lifestyle means that you hate them, young adults may not understand that trying to help them out of unhealthy and sinful behaviors that are harming them means they truly are loved. They don't know what love is. They find it hard to believe that anyone wants what is best for them. By demonstrating an attitude of true compassion and vulnerability, humility and genuineness, the words become more than a clanging in their ears. 

 

Churches have the opportunity to warn churchgoers away from the temptation of abortion and remind those who have succumb to that temptation of the grace and healing found in Jesus Christ through His death and resurrection for the sins of the world, applied to all who believe and accept that forgiveness. Without that reminder, many women feel like taking away the life of their child is an unforgiveable sin and they miss the gospel. This is a way the church is relevant to our culture in speaking on what is affecting your congregation.

 

Most women were attending church before they had a first abortion. More than half of all abortions are acquired by church women. This doesn't mean we don't talk about it; it means that we do need to talk about it. Not accept it as normal, but address it so that women don't continue to fall into that trap.

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Churches have the opportunity to minister to young single and pregnant mothers. Women and children can observe healthy family dynamics and Godly men in a group setting to recalibrate their own expectations in relationships. Church fellowship provides a family for those who do not have families, ministering to the widows and orphans of our day – those rejected and left uncared for by men in their lives.

 

Church outreach may include servicing cars, fixing plumbing, or providing after school care or affordable Christian school for struggling single parents. The church can be a safe place for singles to meet each other as they worship and serve God together and get to know other singles. What singles and single parents learn while attending church will affect their families in the future.  

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Paradigm Shift

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The majority of the population has lived only after abortion became legal. Previous generations welcomed children as gifts to their family. And while not everyone lived morally, not wanting to become pregnant was a pretty good deterrent. Women helped set the standard for morality, requiring men to treat her as a gentleman and proposing marriage if they intended to become physically involved.

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Seemingly simplistic or naive, the rules "thou shalt not murder" and "do not commit adultery" are still the ultimate standards by God to help humanity avoid the pitfalls of misplaced compassion and unbridled lust.
 

The solutions to abortion are many and varied. When we take killing children off the table as an option, the other options are more readily sought and more easily found.